One of the most significant steps in reconnecting with our inner child is recognizing its desires and needs. We must clearly ask ourselves what the child within us wants and what it needs. When we begin to make a clear distinction between desires and needs, we can more easily find ways to connect with our inner child and become the nurturing parent it has always needed.
For me personally, it was crucial to establish a connection with my inner child and discover its desires, understanding what it wants and what it has never received support for. One afternoon, while sorting through documents, I came across my school transcripts from elementary school. As I read through the subjects I studied, I began to connect with the child within me. It became evident how important education was to me personally. The desire for education had been strong throughout my upbringing, but due to challenging financial circumstances and the wartime conditions that marked my childhood, I was unable to pursue education in the way I had hoped. I never had the faith and support that would have helped me realize my dream.
Encountering those transcripts was a turning point that took me back in time, helping me connect with my inner child. I recognized its desire and saw how much it suffered due to lack of understanding and support. I decided to correct this mistake. I retrieved my diplomas and sent them to the university, which, after a few days, informed me that I needed to pass an English language test and, if successful, would be accepted. I successfully passed the test and enrolled in college. I told my inner child that I saw it, that I understood how important education was to it, and that we now had a chance to fulfill its dream. I became the parent figure who possessed the skills and abilities to help it achieve its goal.
In my case, my inner child needed a parent figure to guide, direct, and show it the way. It had learned to fend for itself by putting its desires aside, using mechanisms that were not beneficial. It needed support.
Understanding the inner child’s need for guidance and support changed my internal dialogue. I began to tell it that I saw it, that I knew what it wanted, and that I was there to fulfill its need for support and guidance.
The need of my inner child was the need for support and guidance. Its desire was to receive a quality education.
In this case, I took on the role of a parent and directed the child within me by taking all necessary steps to fulfill its desire to enroll in the desired college. Changing the internal dialogue is also crucial because recognizing and acknowledging the desires of the inner child should be accompanied by a dialogue that encourages it to persist in its desire.
I am now recognizing the resistance and the ways in which my inner child attempts to sabotage studies. I can clearly identify the mechanisms it employs, and my approach to supporting and empowering it to achieve its goals and fulfill its desires is by consistently affirming my belief in its abilities and offering encouragement.
Self-sabotage stems from the beliefs ingrained in the environment where my inner child resided, constantly echoing the notion that education comes with a high price tag and that it must abandon its dreams. My role as a parent is to illuminate and erase those beliefs, replacing them with a new belief that will serve us in pursuing the desire for education.
