I believe that codependency is often overlooked and insufficiently discussed. People find it easier to identify as victims of life, circumstances, and others rather than facing themselves. This topic is not widely talked about, people are not well-informed, and there isn’t much material available on it.
My journey into understanding codependency began with facing narcissism. Educating and informing myself about narcissism eventually led me to discover codependency. I wandered quite a bit before I found the book “Codependent No More,” by Melody Beattie which excellently and clearly explains this disorder. The book provides insight into the behavioral patterns that codependents use. Another helpful resource was “Healing the Shame that Binds You” by John Bradshaw, which, in several chapters, addresses this topic and helped me clarify several internal processes I wasn’t even aware of.
However, the most powerful tool for confronting codependency and working on oneself if you are codependent is the CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous) and the 12-step program. This is a safe space where participants have the opportunity to share their experiences. The most important thing we learn in this program is to listen – just listen. We do not give advice, we do not try to help or enlighten the other person, we simply listen. The power of listening and sharing is magical; it opens new doors within us that we didn’t even know existed.
The CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous) program consists of 12 steps that you can work through with a sponsor or on your own if you prefer or cannot find a sponsor. Meetings are available both in person and online, offering great flexibility. Online meetings are particularly beneficial, as you can join a group at any time that fits your schedule.
Connecting with people from all over the world through these meetings, you listen to others’ stories and realize that you are not alone. This community provides a safe and supportive environment where you can be your true self or explore your current state of being. The shared experiences and mutual support within the group are invaluable, offering a sense of belonging and understanding that is often hard to find elsewhere.
For me, the availability of online meetings has been a blessing. It allows for constant access to support and connection, regardless of time constraints. Listening to the stories of others helps to build a sense of solidarity and reassurance. The community offers a secure space to share, listen, and grow, making it an essential part of the healing journey for anyone dealing with codependency.
CODA provides a wealth of materials and books designed to help you get closer to yourself and understand your condition. This understanding and awareness are the only ways to change yourself and your behavior. Through these resources, you can gain deeper insights into your patterns and learn strategies to cultivate healthier relationships.
Embracing the CODA program and its resources can lead to profound personal growth. The combination of structured steps, supportive community, and educational materials equips you with the tools needed for meaningful change. Whether you’re attending meetings, reading books, or working through the steps, each component plays a crucial role in your journey towards greater self-awareness and healthier relationships.
