The wounded inner child cries out for validation, yearning to be seen and acknowledged. It screams for someone to notice and hear its desires, dreams, and sufferings. It weeps, but no one sees its tears or hears its cries. Unseen and unrecognized, it will spend its entire life seeking validation. Validation will become its primary drive. It will never be enough, and no one will be able to fill the void that has grown over years of neglect, disregard, and misunderstanding.
For me, as for most people, validation meant a better job, luxurious travel, the latest facial treatment. But only recently have I become aware that the greatest validation I seek, and was unaware of, is the validation of my suffering, my struggles, and the hard times I went through alone.
We seek validation for our suffering, pain, and emotional breakdowns. We want them to be recognized and validated by others; we want a medal for our tears. The only problem is that other people are too busy seeking validation for their own suffering to have the time or interest to recognize ours. And so, our unrecognized suffering begins to accumulate and grow until it completely starts to control us.
We become immune to the sufferings of others because we are angry and hurt that no one has seen our pain. When someone talks about their pain and the difficult situations they are facing, we want to scream out loud for everyone to finally hear us: “But that is nothing compared to what I went through! I was hurt more, my pain is more important.”
We want those responsible for our suffering to be punished, to face a dreadful punishment that would free us from our pain. For what is the purpose of our pain and misery if the culprits are not punished? If they are not punished, our pain is not acknowledged, and it will only grow over time, turning into anger and hatred. Pain is a terrible jailer of life, preventing us from seeing the bigger picture. It narrows our consciousness.
How do we confront pain? How? The only way is to let it go.
